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 Adoption Resource Central
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Your child, so long planned for, has finally arrived ... now you actually have to raise that child! Parenting any child can be challenging: feeding, sleep, illness, discipline and so on. Then come the extras of adoptive parenting ... dealing with emotional problems or learning disabilities, explaining adoption to your child (and your child's teacher), racial issues. Parents adopting from abroad bear the additional burden of little medical or social background on their child.

Raising adopted children with special needs can be demanding and stressful. Love alone isn't enough -- you may also need special parenting strategies and outside help to meet your child's needs. You may have to consult experts in child development, attachment, behaviour management and the psychological issues of children who've experienced separation and loss.

Early evaluation and therapy is imperative ... don't wait until problems become so entrenched that you burn out, your child's self-esteem is poor, and treatment has much less chance of helping. Despite the stresses of special needs parenting, the experience can be rewarding: adoptive parents who've weathered the worst can still speak of the positives, the life-affirming experiences they've gained.

For issues around raising adopted children see also Older Child Adoption.

Adoption and Parenting, Parenting classes to prepare for the new arrival, develop attachment and connect with other adoptive parents. Becoming Maternity and Parenting Centre, Toronto.
Adoption Parenting, Email list to discuss adoption parenting philosophies. What works, what doesn't: advice from professionals and "parent experts". Co-moderators: Sheena Macrae, Carrie Kitze, Jean MacLeod; EMK Press. 2,692 members.
Adoption Learning Partners, Fee-based online courses: adoption training for prospective and current adoptive parents, and adoption professionals. Founded 2002 by The Cradle adoption agency, Evanston IL.
Breastfeeding: Adoptive Breastfeeding, Motherstuff.
Breastfeeding: Adoptive Breastfeeding, La Leche League.
Breastfeeding: Adoptive Breastfeeding Resource Website, FAQ, message board. Naomi B. Duane.
Breastfeeding: Breastfeeding: An Option for Adoption, Classes at Becoming Maternity and Parenting Centre, Toronto.
Breastfeeding: Childbirth and Postpartum Professional Assn., Training for birth professionals in providing labour and postpartum support to potential birthmothers, and breastfeeding support to adoptive families. Catherine MacLellan,
Breastfeeding: How I Successfully Breastfed My Adoptive Children, Kerri Smith, AFABC.
Breastfeeding: Our Adoption Diary, See many Breastfeeding Links.
Canadian Parents, Canada's parenting web site.
CanGrands, Support for kin caregiver families across Canada -- grandmothers, aunts and family members raising grandchildren or extended family members. Betty Cornelius, McArthurs Mills, Ont.
Child and Family Canada, 52 Canadian non-profits provide public education resources on children and families. 1,300 articles.
Developmental Stages, Resources for adoption issues surfacing at specific stages in the lives of adopted children, from infancy through adolescence. Child Welfare Information Gateway., Parenting guidance; grade-specific information about your child's school experience. Adoption information from "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Adoption" by Christine Adamec. Launched 1996. Boston MA.
Fostering Families Today, Magazine for families fostering and adopting children through the child welfare system. Pre- and post-adoption issues.
Inside Adoption, Basics, process, raising adopted kids. American Baby.
Making Adoption Work: Post-adoption Parenting, Five steps to successful parenting. Nancy Reynolds.
Middle Years: Grieving Losses and Fitting In, Supporting the emotional needs of the adopted child. Karen Benjack.
Names: A Rose by Any Name, Choosing the "perfect" name for my daughter from China. Deb Wasserbach.
Names: Baby Names, Pick the perfect name. Search by meaning, spelling.
Names: Should I Change My Child's Name?, Leceta Guibault is glad she kept Kahleah's name. 2002.
Names: 20,000+ Names From Around the World, Directory by language, country, meaning.
National Adoption Center, Select Resource Library - Parenting. 36 articles.
Parenting the Adopted Adolescent, Effect of adoption on adolescent development and behavior. Identity formation, fear of abandonment, issues of control, feelings of not belonging, desire to connect with the birth family. Child Welfare Information Gateway, 1995.
Parenting the Sexually Abused Child, Child Welfare Information Gateway, 1990.
Positive Adoption Language, Examples of positive and negative language. 1995.
Post Adoption Depression Syndrome, What to do when PADS strikes. June Bond, Roots and Wings, 1995.
Postadoption Services: A Factsheet for Families, Postadoption services are available for everything from learning how to explain adoption to a preschooler, to helping a child who experienced early childhood abuse, to helping with an adopted teen's search for identity. Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2006.
Post-adoption Helper, Southampton, Ont. Past editions of Post-adoption Helper magazine on parenting adopted children. Robin Hilborn, Family Helper.
Preparing to Parent the Internationally Adopted Child, Pre-adoption classes; understanding the loss; FAS; bonding; lifebooks. About.Com.
Proactive Parenting in Adoptive Families, How anger, depression and anxiety show up. Dee Paddock.
Real Moms Adoption Newsletter, Newsletter for adoptive mothers. Karen Ledbetter, Mooresville NC.
Sign2Me.Com, Teach your baby American Sign Language. Sara Bingham, WeeHands Signing Babies, Toronto.
Special Child, Online magazine for parents of children with special needs. Resource Foundation for Children with Challenges.
The Adoption Dilemma: A Handbook for Adoptive Parents, A social worker on all the adoption parenting issues. Vincenette Scheppler, 1994.


Adoption Book Reviews, Recommended adoption books.

Adoptive Parents Assn. of B.C., International Adoption: Building a Family, [Videotape] Post-adoption advice: how two couples and two single mothers handled raising a child from abroad. 604-588-7300.

Brodzinsky, David, Marshall Schecter and Robin Henig. Being Adopted: the Lifelong Search for Self. Anchor, 1993.

Cline, Foster and Fay, Jim. Parenting With Love and Logic. Strategies on raising self-confident, motivated children who are responsible for their actions and make good choices. Parents teach children the natural consequences of their actions.

Coloroso, Barbara. Parenting Through Crisis: Helping kids in times of loss, grief, and change. What to offer our children faced with crisis or loss in their lives.

Fahlberg, Vera. A Child's Journey Through Placement. Perspectives Press. A pediatrician shows how breaks in attachment affect a child's behaviour, intellectual development and emotional well-being. Information for parents and professionals about normal child development.

Foli, Karen J., John R. Thompson. The Post-Adoption Blues: Overcoming the Unforeseen Challenges of Adoption. Rodale, 2004. Solutions for feelings of stress, post-adoption.

Jewett, Claudia. Helping Children Cope with Separation and Loss. Techniques for helping children resolve their grief over various life events. Stages of mourning; behaviours expected from children at each stage.

Johnston, Patricia Irwin. Launching a Baby's Adoption: Practical Strategies for Parents and Professionals. Indianapolis, IN: Perspectives Press, 1998. Dealing with issues of child care, attachment, parenting adjustments, post arrival blues, bringing family and friends on board, birthparent's change of heart.

Keck, Gregory and Kupecky, Regina. Adopting the Hurt Child: Hope for Families with Special-needs Kids: a Guide for Parents and Professionals. Colorado Springs, Col.: Pinon, 1995. Who the challenged children are, why they hurt, where the system lets them down, and what caring adults (in parenting and professional roles) can do to help.

MacLeod, Jean and Macrae, Sheena, eds. Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections. 2006. EMK Press, 16 Mt. Bethel Road, #216, Warren NJ 07059, 732-469-7544,

Melina, Lois. Making Sense of Adoption. Conversations and activities for families formed through adoption, donor insemination, surrogacy, and in vitro fertilization.

Melina, Lois. Raising Adopted Children: Practical Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parent. New York: HarperPerennial, 1998. Rev. edition. Prenatal drug exposure, medical issues for internationally adopted children, children from orphanages, bonding and attachment, racial and ethnic issues, talking with children about adoption, sexuality, adolescence.

Pavao, Joyce Maguire. The Family of Adoption. Boston: Beacon Press, 1998.

Peck, Cynthia. Adoption Today: Options and Outcomes. R&W Publications, Box 577, Hackettstown NJ 07840. 67 families tell how they fared after adopting 42 international and 52 domestic children: special needs; medical conditions; emotional problems; learning disabilities.

Register, Cheri. Are Those Kids Yours? American Families with Children Adopted from Other Countries. New York, Free Press, 1991. From her own experience and her study of American families, Register emphasizes the life-enhancing aspects of having a dual heritage.

Schaffer, Judith and Christina Lindstrom. How to Raise an Adopted Child: a Guide to Help your Child Flourish from Infancy through Adolescence. New York: Copestone, 1989.

Van Gulden, Holly and Lisa Bartels-Rabb. Real Parents, Real Children: Parenting the Adopted Child. New York: Crossroad, 1995. Explaining adoption to children and minimizing difficulties during transfers.

VIDEO: "Gentle Transitions: A Newborn Baby's Point of View About Adoption". Infant-Parent Institute, Champaign IL, 217-352-4060,, 1997, 16 min., $70. What grown-ups should think about, and do, to make the adoption experience work best for a baby.

Ziegler, Dave. Raising Children who Refuse to be Raised: Parenting Skills and Therapy Interventions for the Most Difficult Children. Jasper OR: Acacia Press, 2000.


 Adoption Resource Central
 General    Considering    Collecting   Private    Public    Intn'l    Medical
 Countries   Agencies   Photolist   Gay   Older   Open   Single   Support
 Special needs   Attach  ADD  FAS    Institutions   Learning   Sensory  Parenting    Talking    School    Transracial   Culture   Search

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Contact: Robin Hilborn,
Box 1353, Southampton, Ont. N0H 2L0 Canada
©2011 Robin Hilborn. All rights reserved
URLs verified, Mar. 21, 2007
Updated, Apr. 15, 2011

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